Helping for christmas

hi there im having some issues right now and i havent be able to get my kids anything for christmas and it just makes me sick to my stomach and my hubby cant really either and its just stressing me out to where i cant sleep at night and my step son is stretch out as it is but i know its not for me but for them. Shoot i didnt even get a tree this year and that makes me want to scream and some other issues but i wont get into that. All i can do is pray and hope for the best. I try to make videos on youtube but all i can get is a few views each time but im not going to give up. thanks again Jessica